“I can’t deny that God exists. I’ve seen and experienced too much to deny He’s there. I just don’t know if He’s good. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to follow Him anymore.”
My friend was stunned by my admission. But our conversation changed things. Those words revealed that 1) I knew God existed, 2) I had valuable experience with Him, 3) I was questioning God’s goodness, and 4) I was hurting so much that I didn’t know if it was worth the pain and effort to keep following Him.
In addition to recognizing where my struggle was, that conversation brought 3 prayer warriors alongside me. Those prayer warriors (and my understanding of their value) was one of the best things to come out of that time.
Roman soldiers used to carry 2 types of shields. They carried a small shield used in hand-to-hand combat and a large one used for full-body protection. That larger shield allowed a soldier to crouch behind it to avoid enemy arrows. When a group of soldiers stood in a circle behind their shields, they formed a virtually impenetrable barrier for themselves and their fellow soldiers. They quite literally had each other’s backs.
I had been fighting my battle alone with my tiny little shield which left my back exposed to enemy fire. I needed my fellow warriors to protect my back from enemy arrows (and they needed me for the same reason). When I finally had several people who understood how intense my battle was, I had fellow warriors planting their large prayer shields next to mine to protect my back.
While my fellow warriors protected my back, I wrestled with those questions that were haunting me and sought answers in God’s Word. This was the second thing that came from that conversation.
Satan makes us question God’s Word to keep us from salvation or to render us useless to God.
When I confessed my struggles to my friend, I had finally recognized the big issues. Now that I knew where the issues were, I could seek answers. Satan makes us question God’s Word to keep us from salvation or to render us useless to God. I refused to let Satan win. But to regain strength and to become an effective servant warrior again, I had to confront those questions.
It took time, but gradually my faith was strengthened. I realized that God was calling me to a restored relationship and to a renewed and effective life of service in His Kingdom, all in the power He provides.
My story is one of battle, injury, burnout, depression, running, prayer, restoration, and service. Regardless of your personal struggle, you need fellow warriors to cover your back with prayer, God’s Word to confront Satan’s lies, and salvation or restoration so you can have a future hope and so you can be an effective servant warrior in God’s Kingdom.
Join me as we pray for one another, confront Satan’s lies by studying and applying God’s Word, and live in a restored relationship with God so we can become more effective servant warriors for Him as we journey toward our future Hope.